The Once and Future Lover
by NadeshikoLachrymose
Summary: A desperate Merlin was drowning in his sorrow. He wished he could die. He didn't know that his death will be the beginning of another destiny. ArthurXMerlin in future time. Rated T for now, M for later. For you that love ArLin, I welcome you all here. No flames, please.


Hello, everyone. This is the first time I write fanfic in English. I'm really sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes. I'm a human, after all. #grins

So, in this fic I made Merlin can't be killed, but he can committed suicide. Again, I apologize if any of these don't suit your taste.

Disclaimer : I don't own Merlin, sadly.

Rate : T (for now)

-OooOooO-

He wanted to die.

How long has it been? 100 years? 200 years? 1000 years? He can't remember anymore how many days he has passed alone. However, he will never forget that day. That day where he lost his love, the once and future king, Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin sighed softly as he glanced at his reflections on the water. His once dark hair now was white. He has grown into an old man. Right now, maybe even Gaius couldn't recognize his face. And yet, there are no signs if Arthur will reincarnate.

No, he can't wait anymore. How many years he must wait for Arthur? Merlin started to curse his immortality. If only he was mortal just like Arthur, maybe his sorrow would end by the time Arthur died. He would've drown himself together with Arthur in the waters of Avalon.

But here he was. Immortal, and lonely. Wandering alone in a cold place he can't even remember. Surely warmth would be great, as he shivered in a cold night. Only now he craved Arthur's warm body, just like in the past. Usually Arthur would hold him tight, nuzzling his face in Merlin's shoulder.

Slowly Merlin glanced upwards. The night was endless. Cold, and endless. Will something endless could end?

He prayed that light would shine in the night without stars. So that it will light up, and shine for his tomorrow. His dull and gray tomorrow. Merlin closed his eyes. As sleep overcome his senses, only one thing he wished.

He wished he will never wake up.

-OooOooO-

"Good night, Arthur." Merlin said as he tucked Arthur into his bed.

"Stay." Came Arthur's sleepy voice.

"Excuse me, Sire?"

"Stay with me, Merlin."

The brunette grinned. He always loved it when Arthur asked him to sleep together. Even though there is no hot and steamy love-making, Merlin was grateful enough to felt his king's warm body against his.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin sat beside Arthur and stroked his blonde hair.

"Remove your clothes and get inside the cover."

Hearing Arthur's order, Merlin's grin widened. He wasted no time to get naked and slipped under the thick sheets. By the time he was settled comfortably, Arthur's arm came to wrap around his waist. As the king pulled him closer, Merlin kissed his lover's forehead.

"Good night, Arthur."

"Good night."

"I love you, Arthur."

"Shut up and go to sleep, _Mer_lin"

"Yes, Sire."

"..."

"..."

"...you..."

"What is it, Arthur?"

"I said, I love you too, idiot."

-OooOooO-

When he opened his eyes and faced the starless sky, his chest felt tight. Why must he dreamed of Arthur in the time like this? He already had countless dreams about Arthur after he died, but this one felt so...real. He could still felt Arthur's body. He could still hear Arthur's sleepy voice.

"It's only a dream..." he whispered to himself. The dream had bothered him, but now there is only one thing that bothered him the most.

"Why did I wake up?"

Merlin wanted to cry. Why can't he just die? That way he won't have to remember everything about Arthur. That way, he will be free. Free from his sorrow, free from his loneliness, free from _everything_.

If he died, will he reincarnate just like Arthur will? Well, he didn't care. He wanted to die and nothing else.

The sorcerer stood and walked to a nearest lake to wash his face. After walking for few minutes, he found one and splashed the cold water over his face. Once again he stared at his reflections. When Arthur reincarnated, will he looked like the young Merlin, or will he stayed at his old appearance?

Then he realized something. He remembered that place. Oh, the place that he longed to see. The place where he sends his lover's body after he throwed Excalibur into the water.

The waters of Avalon. It had changed after so many years, but in his eyes it's still the same water that had brought his loved one.

Merlin stared at the water again. Will he survive if he drowned himself there? He wasn't sure. However, the desire to drown was so strong, and he couldn't control himself anymore. All he wanted was the end to his endless sorrow.

"There will be a miracle, if I believe." With that, Merlin walked further until he felt there is nothing under his feet, only waters.

He sunk under the water, and closed his eyes. The water was cold, and it started to choke him. But he paid no attention and kept himself under the water. No matter how his lungs screamed at him for oxygen, he kept still. He wanted to die.

By the time his visions faded, only one face that appeared in front of his eyes.

_'Arthur...'_

-OooOooO-

A loud cry of baby startled him from his sleep. Gaius opened his eyes as a woman appeared in front of him.

"How is Hunith?" she shook her head.

Gaius scrambled to his feet and entered the room. His friend was lying on the bed, her breath uneven, and in her arms she holds a baby covered with blue cloth.

"It's a boy, Gaius." Hunith said weakly as she stroked her baby's cheek. The baby giggled. However soon she coughed into her sheet. Gaius' eyes widenend as he saw blood on his friend's sheet.

"Hunith, don't speak anymore. You're-"

"I know, Gaius. I know. That's why I have a request for you." Her voice was cracked, and she struggled to breath. He kept his mouth closed; don't know what else to say.

"Take care of him, will you? I don't know where his father. You're the best friend I ever had." With that, Hunith closed her eyes for a moment. She opened the again to stare at her son.

"Give him a love of a father. I know you had it in you." She smiled weakly as she handed Gaius the baby. Then her eyes started to drop.

"Hunith, no!"

"His name...is Merlin. Merlin Emrys..."

-OooOooO-

"It's a boy, Mr. Pendragon. A healthy baby boy."

Uther stepped inside the hospital room, and found Ygraine holding his son in her arms. Her face looked exhausted, but she smiled happily.

"He's really handsome, Uther." Her smile widened. "Look, he has beautiful blue eyes. And I bet he will have blond hair."

"What should we name him?"

"Let me think..."

"Well?"

"Arthur. His name will be Arthur Pendragon."

TBC

-OooOooO-

Finally done the first part. #sighed

Well, I hope you like this. Just for information, I decided not to change the name. So, there's nothing to say anymore, except R&R please!


End file.
